Gracefully Broken

🎶 ❤️ Gracefully Broken ❤️ 🎶

I’m just coming out of a ‘season’ of being Gracefully Broken. Over the last 18 months I’ve wept day after day for my sins, for my failings and for my stupid actions. I didn’t understand why I was remembering all the details of my life if I’d already been forgiven, and I knew I had been. It was a confusing time, a time of breaking. I now know it wasn’t about forgiveness, it was about brokenness.

I wept over what a poor son I had been. I wept over what a poor husband I’d been. I wept over what a poor father I’d been. I wept over what a poor shepherd I’d been. I wept over what a poor disciple I’d been. I wept over what a poor bond-servant I’d been. I wept over what a poor friend I’d been. I wept over every girlfriend I’d ever hurt. I wept over every person I ever hit with my hands. I wept over those I killed. I wept over every dollar I misspent. I wept over the loss of Prince, Max, Lily, Mia and Mia again. I wept over every missed opportunity. I wept over ever lie that was ever spoken of about me and every lie I’d ever told. I wept over the wasted years. I wept over my failures. My failures. I wept and wept and wept.

The days turned into weeks and the weeks stretched into months. The months became a year and more. And then He began to put me back together. The way He wanted. He began to Speak.

“Though your sins are as scarlet, they will be white as snow.” Could I ever believe this with my past? “Come let us talk about this John.” I couldn’t forgive myself, I just couldn’t. I saw my life in relation to His and was broken, Gracefully. Day by day His Love began to devour my grief. He showed me a safe place to live, the Highway of Holiness. A place where I could now walk, Gracefully Broken. Hands raised high, heart bowed low. A Highway that just leads me closer and closer to Him. A Highway without road signs because it only goes in one direction, to Him.

He never leaves us hanging, “Though your sins are red like crimson, they will be white as snow.” Oh but there was a catch. I had to agree, I had to consent together with Him that His sacrifice was enough—even for me. Finally I began to say Yes, and then I began to eat the best of the land, of His Kingdom. I’m so thankful. Being Gracefully Broken.

I’ve watched other folks go through this ‘breaking’ process over the years. It was never easy to watch. However, that costly perfume that you poured out on Jesus with your tears still lingers on each one of you. And I never hear you complaining—you always speak of the Goodness of God, hallelujah!

This past Saturday, in the early morning when no one is around, I was worshipping the Lord. It was wonderful and I found myself crying out “I’ll give up anything, I’ll give up all to have more of you.” He spoke to me and said, “That sacrifice has already been made.” And He told me about providing the sacrifice for Abraham...that there was no sacrifice I could make. That it was self-righteous to think that I could. Jehovah-Jireh, the Lord will provide the offering. The Lord is my offering. Thank you Jesus.

Psalms 27:13-14
13. I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
14. Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!

It’s been hard to write this, I’ve been reflecting on being Gracefully Broken for some time now. There were so many tears and honestly still are. However, what an honor to be on the Potter’s Wheel, what gentle care He gives me. Here I am Lord, arms still wide open.

Embrace Him in your trials.

Continuing to be Gracefully Broken.

♥️ Love Him ♥️

John
love-never-fails.net

“And even when I am old and gray...I will declare Your strength to this generation, Your power to all who are to come.”   Psalm 71:18